As I sat down for my annual ritual of trying desperately to reinvent myself into something that more closely resembles a human being, I took a moment to reflect on why my past forays into this noble, time-honored endeavor had yet to be successful.
As I pondered this puzzling dilemma and confronted the veritable mountain of past failures that have littered the first 3 days of Januaries' past for as long as I can remember, it occurred to me that I have completely missed the boat on the Resolution thang.
It occurred to me that resolutions are, at least in my mind, absolute commitments. Black and white. Did or didn't. Absolute success, or absolute failure. Kinda like the way we sometimes view the eternities. Resolutions do not have a margin for error. There is no "slop" in Resolutions. No "wiggle room." No "fudge factor." You either do them... completely... or you don't.
Which, of course, is why we fail miserably. Or at least I do. Human beings, with very few exceptions, are not absolute creatures. Unless you're talking about my wife's ex-husband, who came very close to being an absolute jackass. But I digress.
We seem to take the Dow Jones Industrial approach to self improvement... one step forward, two (or 10, if you factor in this last year), steps back. In short, we're hard-wired to fail, and we, as a species, seem to only learn through trial and error... no matter how many sage Jedi Knights appear to us in holograms, encouraging us on to instant greatness and technical perfection. It's just the way we are.
On the other hand, the kissing cousin of the rigid Resolution, the Goal, is of a somewhat different breed. A goal is something to strive for.. some higher achievement to seek after. Where a Resolution is an End at the Beginning, Goals are the Beginning that have an End. Goals allow for mistakes. Goals tolerate human frailty to a much higher degree than Resolutions. Goals are forgiving... as long as one continues to strive after them. And most importantly, goals can be achieved. Resolutions? Not so much.
So this year, instead of Resolutions, I have a set of brand-spanking new Goals. I'm sure I'll struggle along the way, and will fall down a time or two. Truth is, I already have. But I will continue to strive towards these goals throughout the year with the hopes of achieving them before next New Years' Day.
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2 comments:
Wow, you are a great writer!!! That is all I have to say! I'm with you on the goal thing. I agree.
Hey, thanks for helping me see this New Year's Resolution thing in a new light. No more setting myself up for failure - they are going to be goals from now on!
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